2008 1st Sem Finals...

Here we go...final year in UM (hopefully...I seriously do not want to extend my semester). If everything is fine...I will be graduating next year as BSc Applied Chemistry. Wonder how many chemicals have I took into my body for the past three years?? Enough to shorten my life by a few years I think...

Today is last day of class. Next week is study break...but I still have to do my lab report. Worst off, the report got problems. The results I get from NMR is totally incomprehensible, my GPC is like...two samples missing. I am so dead. But more than that, I am so fed up. I would rather focus on my finals rather than my report. Frankly speaking, I am not going to pay attention to it more than my revisions because I am planning to hit a certain CGPA this time. Whatever else is secondary.

Nowadays took whatever time I have free...to practice my clarinet. We have lotsa new songs... Four more of Teresa Teng medley, Phantom of the Opera, Sound of Music (again!), later will have Les Miserables, West Side Story, Mary Poppins...all kinds of musicals!!! Very excited!!! I love music and the power within it to give hope and courage to people. I am back to square one... always face technical problems every time. Last time it's embouchure wrong, then tonguing not correct...now I can't play my high notes. Hmm..my solo piece is going to go down the drain if I can't fix this matter by end of this year...

After this year's September concert, I have said that I will fight on with my life. In studies, in kosenrufu, in my own human revolution, in music. Obstacles are everywhere, things are not easy. But I know the final victory is awaiting. I always win in concerts...every single concerts I performed in is very very precious...because I truly challenged. Now should be no difference.

Last few years, the SGM Young Women Division Day has the wild flowers as their theme. This guidance from Ikeda Sensei seem to fit it well...

"Why doesn't constant trampling defeat the dandelion?? The key to its strength is its long and sturdy root, which extends deep into the earth. The same principle applies to people. True victors in life are those who, enduring repeated challenges and setbacks, have sent the roots of their being to such a depth that nothing can shake them!!"

I Perform to Inspire!!

20th September...SGM FeiYang Symphonic Band Concert!!! Another chance for another inspiring performance...inspiring challenges.

Too bad I fell sick two weeks before the concert. With all the mid-sem tests coming together, sleeplessness, practices and what's not...A few people told me that I shrunk after the concert. Wonder if that is a good or bad thing...I always think I am too fat anyway...

It was the one concert where we made the most mistakes ever...Symphony No.5 enter wrong lar, miss cue in Rosalind lar, late entry in Goodbye My Love lar... Cold sweat on stage man! But making mistakes in one thing, continuing playing is another thing. My mission on stage is to impart hope and courage to people...and it needs courage to make mistakes, and even more courage to admit and correct them. I was kinda happy at the concert hahaha. Not because I don't care about the fact we made mistakes...I do...I felt we need more practice. Good thing now we are back to basics...I must go back to my minor scales too, and continue chanting for my teacher to appear. After all, they say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I am pretty sure I will get mine...so now, I am preparing for him...whoever he is.

This concert is successful in my personal opinion because I have truly struggled through it. Our art only advances as much as our life did. That is what Herbie Hancock shared. I look forward to every big and small performances because I have the chance to do what my mission as Bodhisattva Wonderful Sound commands. So this time, I decide to fight. True enough, there are plenty of challenges. I don't have enough stamina for all the 10 songs, I was unwell through the month, I was sleepless for weeks, I have tests, assignments, and need to forgo many of my entertainments to take time to practice. Nearly depressed. And most of all, I am inviting people...my coursemates, and my Japanese teacher, Mukoda-sensei.

I think the inviting part is the toughest. I am being well known for my serious looks and strict character...but I was never known for being a socialising person. Except for a close few, whom, even they said I wasn't much of a talker sometimes, I rarely talk to many of my coursemates. Inviting them is my wish...since it is our final year and there may not be another chance for them to attend my performance and feel the magic. So I just have to buck up and start talking. My Japanese is horrible, my language sensei's English is horrendous. Duck and chicken. How to invite? Besides, he doesn't have a very good impression of Soka Gakkai back in Japan, and I want to show him the truth of gakkai and not the nonsensical things he may have heard. He nearly rejected me because he has to teach Karate. You have imagine how happy I was when I saw him waving at me during the intermission...and he brought a Japanese friend along too!! And around 15 of my coursemates came. Subarashii!!!

Comrades are great...just at the time when you need them...they would just pop by! Two weeks of sleeplessness and busying with my studies had a bad effect on my emotional health haha. I thought I nearly broke down one weekend... It just happen that on one night after practice when I have been nearly ill, I send a message to a great friend in Aussie. Usually she was so busy, she never replies. I do not expect her to anyway...I just need a listening ear. My huge surprise came when she called me around two hour before the concert... Practically crying when she said she called just to ask me how I was coping and how's my health. Hahah...love ya dear. Would never forget them for many many concerts to come!!! I was so touched, that I felt all my troubles and challenges has prepared me for the right mindset to perform...to play for the audiences, play for my friends, play for my teacher. Play for them in place of my mentor...play my heart out!!

That's one hell of a concert...just created a special place in my value-creating life. Keke...

Mata kondo!

My blog page!!

I used to have one in Multiply...in Friendster...now I place it here... Who cares where I put it. I doubt if I would have much time updating it anyway...

But I hope whatever I blogged...is not just daily nonsense...but a chance to let people see the way I view my own life...I love my life...Won't trade it for any others...

Angels of Peace...You Bearers of Culture....