Living in a world filled with miracles
With different faces, different thoughts
But we share a common bond
With courage in our hearts, and passion in our soul
We march on hand in hand to reach our final goal
One united voice, united vision
A marvelous chord, a clearer sight
It's a perfect creation
Let our glories be shared, let the borders disappear
With faith and wisdom in our lives, we have nothing to fear
We were bound by diversities
But we will sing in harmony
For dreams, for love, for peace, for humanity
Open up your heart and sing
Let our friendship spread its wings
Soaring the eternal skies of endless springs
We are unique in diversities
But we can sing in harmony
We help, we care, we share our loves in sincerity
Pray together in a rhythm
For happiness and freedom
Together we will make this a glorious world
Although there's high and low, although it's hard to learn
We plan our steps and set our goals to bridge two different worlds
Let the mountains made low
Let the valleys be sewed
We cry a single voice of peace in eternity it echoes
*Chorus
****************
Great song. But it always want to make me cry. It always reminded me of one specific event...6.15 celebration in 2008. It was the finale song...and during the final performance day of the 6.15 event, which was held in the open air basketball court in kaikan...it rained. I seen many members came early, sat in the basketball court with their umbrellas opened, and put their palms together and chanted for the rain to stop. But it didn't. Ended up all the music groups and choir groups did not perform that day due to the fact they cannot set up the mic system because of the rain...
I am a musician. I am a gakkai musician. I entered music group because I was deeply touched by their music when I was deep in depression. It saved my life. It gave me back a life to look forward to. And I look forward to every single performance because I treasure every chance I have to go on stage and play on behalf of sensei, encouraging every single person who is listening to us.
In my nearly 5 years of playing in band...there was probably one other time that I felt so upset besides the time when we were told we will not be performing....it was when I was struggling with my technique that has been badly wrong. My conductor and sister told me I cannot perform until I manage to fix my technique, because the mistake, if left unfixed, could be detrimental to the rest of my clarinet playing years. I was in the UM library when I had this MSN conversation with her. I nearly cried there and then...feeling so lost. My only mind was to perform for the people...now that I can't...what's the point of playing music? I gave up performing that concert, until my other conductor persuaded me to continue playing...but my heart is already broken and confidence gone... But a bigger resolve came in, and the next concert that our band organised that year, I improved so much, that I was given a solo part, and all my effort was answered because I finally hit my 3.0 CGPA that semester.
During the 6.15 that night, we were asked to put down our instruments in the canteen and prepare for the finale. I remembered how I hanged on to every hope that we will be asked to pick back up our instruments and continue with our performance. How I stood, unable to stop the tears of crying band members who were so upset because her family who are none members, manage to make it all the way to kaikan that night and yet, we weren't performing. How, when we were finally asked to walk from the canteen to the basketball court (without instruments) for the finale, my tears just dropped. Every single step I took nearer to the basketball court just hurts so much. The members who have been there the whole night are unable to hear us play. I wasn't crying for myself, I was crying for them. I was crying for the fact we are unable to fulfill our mission that night. Though I tried to tell myself that the finale will be our last performance and we must sing and dance our hearts out (for your info...I hated dancing), I still can't forget the fact that I cannot play my clarinet for them...Ouch....
The song still bring back the memories. I cannot finish singing it during the Reunion...partly because I was coughing so badly, partly was because I nearly wanted to cry....
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Pre and Post Graduation
Undoubtedly...I am graduating soon. Just finished my first Introduction to Peace and Humanities paper yesterday. Will have a second one tomorrow...one more next week, and a final one the week after. Officially ending 4th May 2009. Convocation in middle August.
I have attended nearly 3 interviews I guessed...and have another 3 upcoming. Looking at the newspaper with the unemployment stories around...frankly speaking it is a worrying time. I don't know how well I would fare compared to other job-seekers...what's more...with my result of a 2nd Class. Not like I am the first class students...to make things worst, I am opting for a totally different job scope from what I am doing right now. I am looking into banking, training, sales, marketing... Practically anything that will allow me my second phase learning of economics and business. Many wonder why I don't continue with MBA since I was so damn sure I will do it one day. Well, MBA in local uni require working experience la...and MBA elsewhere can burn a hole in my pocket. Unlike some people, I have to pay for my own education.
It was a time of uncertainty. Lucking chanting gives me the confidence to push on and accept nothing less than what I think is best for me. This first job after graduating must do more than just supporting my life and allowing me the freedom for kosenrufu activities...it must fulfill another mission that I will place as utmost importance...but sounded quite impossible.
This is where I got stuck. I have something in mind that I would wish to see through in the near future. But it sounded so impossible...that I don't even know how am I suppose to start..or where to start. I just know I wanted it...but geez...how? Sometimes when people begin to question me, why did you want to do that? Frankly speaking I got so tired of answering it, I began to shut up about it and not mention it anymore until one day I ALREADY got it and confirm doing it. What a sad thing la..I wished I had somebody to support me in my decision and help me see through what sources I could find to reach my goal...but too bad...I can't get anybody who will not see it any other way. A silent struggle? Yeah...I guess so. Percentage of success? No idea. I guess that was why I was pretty worried.
It is a next phase for me. Working is a learning life too. I want somewhere where I can learn and be the best. And I am looking seriously into the issue of graduate studies. Very seriously
I have attended nearly 3 interviews I guessed...and have another 3 upcoming. Looking at the newspaper with the unemployment stories around...frankly speaking it is a worrying time. I don't know how well I would fare compared to other job-seekers...what's more...with my result of a 2nd Class. Not like I am the first class students...to make things worst, I am opting for a totally different job scope from what I am doing right now. I am looking into banking, training, sales, marketing... Practically anything that will allow me my second phase learning of economics and business. Many wonder why I don't continue with MBA since I was so damn sure I will do it one day. Well, MBA in local uni require working experience la...and MBA elsewhere can burn a hole in my pocket. Unlike some people, I have to pay for my own education.
It was a time of uncertainty. Lucking chanting gives me the confidence to push on and accept nothing less than what I think is best for me. This first job after graduating must do more than just supporting my life and allowing me the freedom for kosenrufu activities...it must fulfill another mission that I will place as utmost importance...but sounded quite impossible.
This is where I got stuck. I have something in mind that I would wish to see through in the near future. But it sounded so impossible...that I don't even know how am I suppose to start..or where to start. I just know I wanted it...but geez...how? Sometimes when people begin to question me, why did you want to do that? Frankly speaking I got so tired of answering it, I began to shut up about it and not mention it anymore until one day I ALREADY got it and confirm doing it. What a sad thing la..I wished I had somebody to support me in my decision and help me see through what sources I could find to reach my goal...but too bad...I can't get anybody who will not see it any other way. A silent struggle? Yeah...I guess so. Percentage of success? No idea. I guess that was why I was pretty worried.
It is a next phase for me. Working is a learning life too. I want somewhere where I can learn and be the best. And I am looking seriously into the issue of graduate studies. Very seriously
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
How well educated am I?
Education. What on earth is it anyway? Newspapers are bursting with news of graduates with low quality, no English command and whatsoever nonsense. Even my course lecturers are lamenting the quality of our graduates now. We may be well equipped with the knowledge in our specific major...seems like...we are getting more and more selfish. No la...selfish is too harsh a word...ignorant I think sounds better.
Today, in my course of Introduction to Peace and Humanities, there is a talk by Mr Anis who had once worked with the United Nations for quite some number of years. He came to talk to us about UN of course, and its role in peacekeeping. But half his lecture succeeded in revealing how darn ignorant can these so-called "educated" people can be. How these people, in the course of their own comfort zone in the now peaceful Malaysia, never really bothered about that happen to other people, other countries...and painfully narrow minded when it comes to general knowledge all these educated people should have known. I was probably one among the many in class that were ignorant to an extend.
He started off the talk with a few questions. The few...which lucky me..manage to answer all correct. Some were really my knowledge...some were a guess out of common sense. Here we go:
1. How many countries are there in the United Nations?
A) 200 B) 185 C) 192 D) 195
This question I definitely know the answer...partly was because hey, I love to read. Partly was because I heard this over and over again in gakkai...which mentioned that SGI has also 192 countries and territories in its membership.
He mentioned something very strict...many in class just give it a wild guess. Wild guessing is just like cheating...you do not know the answer and you just sapu one and hopefully you got it correct. Where in the world is your integrity? Nearly sweated when he said that. Can only say that, I was glad I know the answer as in..KNOW...not guess.
2. Who is the UN Secretary General
A) Kofi Adnan
B) Boutros Boutros Ghali
C) Ban Ki Moon
D) Barrack Obama
Well...I should say if anybody who call themselves students or educated and had no idea about the answer to this question should be seriously ashamed of themselves. Except for Obama, the rest of it are all Sec-Gen...just that Ban Ki Moon is the current one.
3. When is the UN formed?
A) 1914 B) 1946 C) 1945
Well...it is formed after WWII...1945
4. How many countries are there in Africa?
Too lazy to type his multiple choice. Generally I was half guessing this question as well. I heard of it before somewhere in my secondary school...But as he went on with his multiple choice, I and another student in class (only two people), chose the correct answer. But frankly speaking, even if you hunt online...it gives many differing answers anyway.
Why do majority of the class know nothing about the Africa continent? When he asked around for their first impression of Africa...nearly all are negative. No wonder... We already have a bad mindset.
5. How big is the population in Iraq?
Hm...I surprisingly got this right. His choices differ from 100 million to 17 million. Many who thought they are very well equipped with people because of so many wars, chose 100 million. I chose 17 million...because I thought many lives are probably wasted anyway... Actually, it is probably less than 17 million...
His talks are mainly to empower us to study hard, graduate well and contribute to the society.. Especially with the thought of working in United Nations. Hmm...nice point to ponder. But he also mention some 'disabilities' of students that can prevent this from happening...inability to communicate well in English, not outspoken, ignorant of the most basic questions like...how many countries are there in the world? Aiya...I don't even know...
How well educated am I huh?
Today, in my course of Introduction to Peace and Humanities, there is a talk by Mr Anis who had once worked with the United Nations for quite some number of years. He came to talk to us about UN of course, and its role in peacekeeping. But half his lecture succeeded in revealing how darn ignorant can these so-called "educated" people can be. How these people, in the course of their own comfort zone in the now peaceful Malaysia, never really bothered about that happen to other people, other countries...and painfully narrow minded when it comes to general knowledge all these educated people should have known. I was probably one among the many in class that were ignorant to an extend.
He started off the talk with a few questions. The few...which lucky me..manage to answer all correct. Some were really my knowledge...some were a guess out of common sense. Here we go:
1. How many countries are there in the United Nations?
A) 200 B) 185 C) 192 D) 195
This question I definitely know the answer...partly was because hey, I love to read. Partly was because I heard this over and over again in gakkai...which mentioned that SGI has also 192 countries and territories in its membership.
He mentioned something very strict...many in class just give it a wild guess. Wild guessing is just like cheating...you do not know the answer and you just sapu one and hopefully you got it correct. Where in the world is your integrity? Nearly sweated when he said that. Can only say that, I was glad I know the answer as in..KNOW...not guess.
2. Who is the UN Secretary General
A) Kofi Adnan
B) Boutros Boutros Ghali
C) Ban Ki Moon
D) Barrack Obama
Well...I should say if anybody who call themselves students or educated and had no idea about the answer to this question should be seriously ashamed of themselves. Except for Obama, the rest of it are all Sec-Gen...just that Ban Ki Moon is the current one.
3. When is the UN formed?
A) 1914 B) 1946 C) 1945
Well...it is formed after WWII...1945
4. How many countries are there in Africa?
Too lazy to type his multiple choice. Generally I was half guessing this question as well. I heard of it before somewhere in my secondary school...But as he went on with his multiple choice, I and another student in class (only two people), chose the correct answer. But frankly speaking, even if you hunt online...it gives many differing answers anyway.
Why do majority of the class know nothing about the Africa continent? When he asked around for their first impression of Africa...nearly all are negative. No wonder... We already have a bad mindset.
5. How big is the population in Iraq?
Hm...I surprisingly got this right. His choices differ from 100 million to 17 million. Many who thought they are very well equipped with people because of so many wars, chose 100 million. I chose 17 million...because I thought many lives are probably wasted anyway... Actually, it is probably less than 17 million...
His talks are mainly to empower us to study hard, graduate well and contribute to the society.. Especially with the thought of working in United Nations. Hmm...nice point to ponder. But he also mention some 'disabilities' of students that can prevent this from happening...inability to communicate well in English, not outspoken, ignorant of the most basic questions like...how many countries are there in the world? Aiya...I don't even know...
How well educated am I huh?
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Chinese New Year...
Just finished my 10am-12pm class. Now waiting for my 5pm class. Geez, what a way to arrange time table. But doesn't matter. The internet at the Chemistry Department is 10 times faster than the internet at my own home....can online...
I have just looked at my transcript. Felt terrible that I did not score better. There are a few expected results, but there are also a few unexpected ones. Now I am already in my final semester. What should I do to ensure a nice full transcript??
This semester is quite free and easy. I have full classes on Tuesday and Thursday, and one hour class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I have lab though...so for the first 7 weeks, my Wednesday will extend to 5pm, and for the next 7 weeks, it will be Monday instead. I took a Chinese Painting co-curricular course, and I took an elective too. It is called Introduction to Peace and Humanities, taught by Dr Wendy Yee. The lecturer is a personal friend, but it is the first time I have seen her teach.
It was fun...hahaha. Very different from other classes...where the exam of this course is only 20%!! Where is the other 80%? It comes from attendance to classes, participation, individual assignments, group assignments, final project, and working voluntarily with an NGO (I am already in an NGO anyway...). It was just the second class today, and I have handed in an assignment and already planning a group assignment. I read a whole book about Gandhi, because we were required to write about his non-violence practice. Owed really, because I probably won't even bother to read that thick and old book (written a year after Gandhi's death) if it is not because of that assignment. I found I don't really know as much about him as I thought I did. His ideals are superb, but those who practicised it are even more superb. In this society that is so used to violence, some might even thought him stupid. But I find him fascinating...
Gandhi introduced satyagraha which is a name he placed for his passive resistance movement. The reasons why he did not use the word passive resistance is because he found some major difrerences between those two. Here I would like to share a few with you guys...
-If we continue to believe (and let others believe) that we are weak and therefore offer passive resistance, our resistance will never make us strong, and we will instead give it up as a weapon of the weak. However, by offering satyagraha believing ourselves to be strong, we will grow stronger everyday and we will never cast an opportunity to give it up.
-There is no scope of love in passive resistance, but in satyagraha, there is no presence of hatred
-In passive resistance there is a scope for the use of arms if needed, but in satyagraha physical force is forbidden even in the most favourable circumstances
-In passive resistance there is always an idea of harrasing the other party, but in satyagraha there is no remotest idea of injuring the opponent.
The above points are only some explanation of the 'weapon' Gandhi used to fight for Indian rights in South Africa, before he returned in India. He has won many battles there, and gain the trust of the whites and blacks alike, for he hated their policy, not the persons. Even the white government of Africa had mentioned to him that they rather he took to violence, because by then they would know how to get rid of him. But his practice of not even hurting his enemies has in turn make the government helpless and give in. What a way to win.
Tomorrow is final day of uni before our CNY break. Geez, finally, a holiday. Want to have some serious rest, sleep, and dialogues. Of course, have to settle some homeworks and stuff. But I think I should enjoy this year long CNY holiday compared to the shorter ones we have in the past 3 years in UM...
Hehehe...till we meet again
I have just looked at my transcript. Felt terrible that I did not score better. There are a few expected results, but there are also a few unexpected ones. Now I am already in my final semester. What should I do to ensure a nice full transcript??
This semester is quite free and easy. I have full classes on Tuesday and Thursday, and one hour class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I have lab though...so for the first 7 weeks, my Wednesday will extend to 5pm, and for the next 7 weeks, it will be Monday instead. I took a Chinese Painting co-curricular course, and I took an elective too. It is called Introduction to Peace and Humanities, taught by Dr Wendy Yee. The lecturer is a personal friend, but it is the first time I have seen her teach.
It was fun...hahaha. Very different from other classes...where the exam of this course is only 20%!! Where is the other 80%? It comes from attendance to classes, participation, individual assignments, group assignments, final project, and working voluntarily with an NGO (I am already in an NGO anyway...). It was just the second class today, and I have handed in an assignment and already planning a group assignment. I read a whole book about Gandhi, because we were required to write about his non-violence practice. Owed really, because I probably won't even bother to read that thick and old book (written a year after Gandhi's death) if it is not because of that assignment. I found I don't really know as much about him as I thought I did. His ideals are superb, but those who practicised it are even more superb. In this society that is so used to violence, some might even thought him stupid. But I find him fascinating...
Gandhi introduced satyagraha which is a name he placed for his passive resistance movement. The reasons why he did not use the word passive resistance is because he found some major difrerences between those two. Here I would like to share a few with you guys...
-If we continue to believe (and let others believe) that we are weak and therefore offer passive resistance, our resistance will never make us strong, and we will instead give it up as a weapon of the weak. However, by offering satyagraha believing ourselves to be strong, we will grow stronger everyday and we will never cast an opportunity to give it up.
-There is no scope of love in passive resistance, but in satyagraha, there is no presence of hatred
-In passive resistance there is a scope for the use of arms if needed, but in satyagraha physical force is forbidden even in the most favourable circumstances
-In passive resistance there is always an idea of harrasing the other party, but in satyagraha there is no remotest idea of injuring the opponent.
The above points are only some explanation of the 'weapon' Gandhi used to fight for Indian rights in South Africa, before he returned in India. He has won many battles there, and gain the trust of the whites and blacks alike, for he hated their policy, not the persons. Even the white government of Africa had mentioned to him that they rather he took to violence, because by then they would know how to get rid of him. But his practice of not even hurting his enemies has in turn make the government helpless and give in. What a way to win.
Tomorrow is final day of uni before our CNY break. Geez, finally, a holiday. Want to have some serious rest, sleep, and dialogues. Of course, have to settle some homeworks and stuff. But I think I should enjoy this year long CNY holiday compared to the shorter ones we have in the past 3 years in UM...
Hehehe...till we meet again
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Golden Year of 2009!!!
Last Saturday I just kicked off a Band event called the Album Campaign. I know the name is a bit lame...but well...more precise mah. After all, I am not a very creative fella. This campaign will include a session where all band members write their resolutions for 2009, doing a quarterly review about their resolutions, collecting their dialogues done and also finally, writing a victory report at the end of 2009. Year of Youth and Victory, the whole band will report their victory to Sensei next year...
I haven't write my resolution...in fact, I am still thinking about it. I have a few in my mind of course, but still thinking of what to write officially. Nowadays pretty busy organising the recital competition in band that will start off in January and February. Actually, we are very tight for time and I am pretty worried about the results that will be out in terms of the benefits that the band member will gain. Doesn't seem to be very bright because of the time constraint.
I foresee a very busy 2009. Marching towards 2010 Charity Culture Show, I have many things I want to achieve. I think the first and foremost would be a successful recital haha. That's the nearest I can find... What about the rest? Lets list:
1. Pass with distinction for my ABRSM Clarinet Grade 7 (paid RM400 for it leh..)
2. Graduate with a CGPA above 3.20. (My Chemistry results are quite horrible)
3. Complete my minor and major scales and focus more on etudes...
Practice more...after class nothing to do, go back home practice! Holiday, practice 4 hours.
4. Have a great performance in April for Music Appreciation (I hope we are playing Phantom of the Opera...damn nice!) and Music Fest in June!
5. Do a lot of dialogue within band, Student Division and main stream. Talk more to my junior..
6. Human revolution...geez...this will take another page to write man!
7. Read read and read...Must do Human Revolution reading everynight.Strive to read Cosmic and Flow every month.
8. Chant more...hahah...
What else huh? Probably have some more...maybe I will give myself time to think about it on the 31st Dec of 2008, then write down my resolutions...
I haven't write my resolution...in fact, I am still thinking about it. I have a few in my mind of course, but still thinking of what to write officially. Nowadays pretty busy organising the recital competition in band that will start off in January and February. Actually, we are very tight for time and I am pretty worried about the results that will be out in terms of the benefits that the band member will gain. Doesn't seem to be very bright because of the time constraint.
I foresee a very busy 2009. Marching towards 2010 Charity Culture Show, I have many things I want to achieve. I think the first and foremost would be a successful recital haha. That's the nearest I can find... What about the rest? Lets list:
1. Pass with distinction for my ABRSM Clarinet Grade 7 (paid RM400 for it leh..)
2. Graduate with a CGPA above 3.20. (My Chemistry results are quite horrible)
3. Complete my minor and major scales and focus more on etudes...
Practice more...after class nothing to do, go back home practice! Holiday, practice 4 hours.
4. Have a great performance in April for Music Appreciation (I hope we are playing Phantom of the Opera...damn nice!) and Music Fest in June!
5. Do a lot of dialogue within band, Student Division and main stream. Talk more to my junior..
6. Human revolution...geez...this will take another page to write man!
7. Read read and read...Must do Human Revolution reading everynight.Strive to read Cosmic and Flow every month.
8. Chant more...hahah...
What else huh? Probably have some more...maybe I will give myself time to think about it on the 31st Dec of 2008, then write down my resolutions...
Friday, October 24, 2008
2008 1st Sem Finals...
Here we go...final year in UM (hopefully...I seriously do not want to extend my semester). If everything is fine...I will be graduating next year as BSc Applied Chemistry. Wonder how many chemicals have I took into my body for the past three years?? Enough to shorten my life by a few years I think...
Today is last day of class. Next week is study break...but I still have to do my lab report. Worst off, the report got problems. The results I get from NMR is totally incomprehensible, my GPC is like...two samples missing. I am so dead. But more than that, I am so fed up. I would rather focus on my finals rather than my report. Frankly speaking, I am not going to pay attention to it more than my revisions because I am planning to hit a certain CGPA this time. Whatever else is secondary.
Today is last day of class. Next week is study break...but I still have to do my lab report. Worst off, the report got problems. The results I get from NMR is totally incomprehensible, my GPC is like...two samples missing. I am so dead. But more than that, I am so fed up. I would rather focus on my finals rather than my report. Frankly speaking, I am not going to pay attention to it more than my revisions because I am planning to hit a certain CGPA this time. Whatever else is secondary.
Nowadays took whatever time I have free...to practice my clarinet. We have lotsa new songs... Four more of Teresa Teng medley, Phantom of the Opera, Sound of Music (again!), later will have Les Miserables, West Side Story, Mary Poppins...all kinds of musicals!!! Very excited!!! I love music and the power within it to give hope and courage to people. I am back to square one... always face technical problems every time. Last time it's embouchure wrong, then tonguing not correct...now I can't play my high notes. Hmm..my solo piece is going to go down the drain if I can't fix this matter by end of this year...
After this year's September concert, I have said that I will fight on with my life. In studies, in kosenrufu, in my own human revolution, in music. Obstacles are everywhere, things are not easy. But I know the final victory is awaiting. I always win in concerts...every single concerts I performed in is very very precious...because I truly challenged. Now should be no difference.
Last few years, the SGM Young Women Division Day has the wild flowers as their theme. This guidance from Ikeda Sensei seem to fit it well...
"Why doesn't constant trampling defeat the dandelion?? The key to its strength is its long and sturdy root, which extends deep into the earth. The same principle applies to people. True victors in life are those who, enduring repeated challenges and setbacks, have sent the roots of their being to such a depth that nothing can shake them!!"
After this year's September concert, I have said that I will fight on with my life. In studies, in kosenrufu, in my own human revolution, in music. Obstacles are everywhere, things are not easy. But I know the final victory is awaiting. I always win in concerts...every single concerts I performed in is very very precious...because I truly challenged. Now should be no difference.
Last few years, the SGM Young Women Division Day has the wild flowers as their theme. This guidance from Ikeda Sensei seem to fit it well...
"Why doesn't constant trampling defeat the dandelion?? The key to its strength is its long and sturdy root, which extends deep into the earth. The same principle applies to people. True victors in life are those who, enduring repeated challenges and setbacks, have sent the roots of their being to such a depth that nothing can shake them!!"
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I Perform to Inspire!!
20th September...SGM FeiYang Symphonic Band Concert!!! Another chance for another inspiring performance...inspiring challenges.
Too bad I fell sick two weeks before the concert. With all the mid-sem tests coming together, sleeplessness, practices and what's not...A few people told me that I shrunk after the concert. Wonder if that is a good or bad thing...I always think I am too fat anyway...
Too bad I fell sick two weeks before the concert. With all the mid-sem tests coming together, sleeplessness, practices and what's not...A few people told me that I shrunk after the concert. Wonder if that is a good or bad thing...I always think I am too fat anyway...
It was the one concert where we made the most mistakes ever...Symphony No.5 enter wrong lar, miss cue in Rosalind lar, late entry in Goodbye My Love lar... Cold sweat on stage man! But making mistakes in one thing, continuing playing is another thing. My mission on stage is to impart hope and courage to people...and it needs courage to make mistakes, and even more courage to admit and correct them. I was kinda happy at the concert hahaha. Not because I don't care about the fact we made mistakes...I do...I felt we need more practice. Good thing now we are back to basics...I must go back to my minor scales too, and continue chanting for my teacher to appear. After all, they say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I am pretty sure I will get mine...so now, I am preparing for him...whoever he is.
This concert is successful in my personal opinion because I have truly struggled through it. Our art only advances as much as our life did. That is what Herbie Hancock shared. I look forward to every big and small performances because I have the chance to do what my mission as Bodhisattva Wonderful Sound commands. So this time, I decide to fight. True enough, there are plenty of challenges. I don't have enough stamina for all the 10 songs, I was unwell through the month, I was sleepless for weeks, I have tests, assignments, and need to forgo many of my entertainments to take time to practice. Nearly depressed. And most of all, I am inviting people...my coursemates, and my Japanese teacher, Mukoda-sensei.
I think the inviting part is the toughest. I am being well known for my serious looks and strict character...but I was never known for being a socialising person. Except for a close few, whom, even they said I wasn't much of a talker sometimes, I rarely talk to many of my coursemates. Inviting them is my wish...since it is our final year and there may not be another chance for them to attend my performance and feel the magic. So I just have to buck up and start talking. My Japanese is horrible, my language sensei's English is horrendous. Duck and chicken. How to invite? Besides, he doesn't have a very good impression of Soka Gakkai back in Japan, and I want to show him the truth of gakkai and not the nonsensical things he may have heard. He nearly rejected me because he has to teach Karate. You have imagine how happy I was when I saw him waving at me during the intermission...and he brought a Japanese friend along too!! And around 15 of my coursemates came. Subarashii!!!
Comrades are great...just at the time when you need them...they would just pop by! Two weeks of sleeplessness and busying with my studies had a bad effect on my emotional health haha. I thought I nearly broke down one weekend... It just happen that on one night after practice when I have been nearly ill, I send a message to a great friend in Aussie. Usually she was so busy, she never replies. I do not expect her to anyway...I just need a listening ear. My huge surprise came when she called me around two hour before the concert... Practically crying when she said she called just to ask me how I was coping and how's my health. Hahah...love ya dear. Would never forget them for many many concerts to come!!! I was so touched, that I felt all my troubles and challenges has prepared me for the right mindset to perform...to play for the audiences, play for my friends, play for my teacher. Play for them in place of my mentor...play my heart out!!
That's one hell of a concert...just created a special place in my value-creating life. Keke...
Mata kondo!
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