Summer hols...

Our first break after an intensive 3 months of Japanese study. Whew...the things I used two years to study in Malaysia, here I only use three months to finish it all. The speed was so fast, it was kinda stressful. After the summer break, which will end in two weeks, there will be intensive revision of exam papers, in preparation for the entrance exam we have to pass in November in order to get into Japanese universities. I foresee a very stressful three months ahead of me =="

Summer holidays been boring. Transportation is so expensive, I did not travel. There are loads of home work given to us, 5 new books which we have to finish. Until now I am still doing them. But I do enjoy studying at my own pace, without needing a lecturer or somebody to bug me to improve. Looking forward to next week when I will follow one of my Japanese dorm leader back to her hometown in Gunma for the weekend. Although it will be a short stay (there is nothing much in Gunma anyway), but I look forward to travel out of Tokyo. Staying in Tokyo is like staying right in the heart of Kuala Lumpur. Stressful @.@

Fell sick nowadays. Coughing my lungs out. Been to the university clinic twice to get my supply of medication...basically there isn't any lung or throat infection, just don't know why I keep coughing. And my heart rate is faster than normal, and even the doctor is surprised. Well, Mr Doctor, if you don't know why my heart rate is fast, tak kan lah I will know right? You are the Doctor le.... But anyway, I am getting better...

Now autumn is going to arrive in Japan. I can't wait!!! When I arrive here it is late spring. The weather is cool like Genting Highlands, sometimes colder, but since it is already May there isn't a chance to look at Sakura. Now that autumn is here, I am looking forward to those lovely orange red leaves =) It should be great!

Summer in Japan is unbelievably hot. People in Japan actually die from heat stroke. More than 35,000 people had been hospitalised for heat stroke, and I have no idea how many thousand had died from it. This is kinda unheard of in Malaysia. The temperature is about the same, 33-35 degree Celcius, sometimes going up to 36 degree Celcius (in my area...some areas reached 40 degree Celcius). But somehow I felt the sun is much hotter in Japan. In Malaysia, wherever I go, I use car. In Japan, wherever I go, I use bike, or I walk. Even to the nearest place to do grocery shopping, I have to bike under the hot sun, scaling a few slopes, for 30-40 minutes. Which, to me, is really a big fat exercise. And I thought I, as a Malaysian, is used to such summer heat. Boy, was I wrong....

One fine day after teaching a Japanese girl English lesson, I bike back to the dormitory at 12.30pm under the hot sun of 36 degree Celcius. Frankly at that time I did not know it was that hot. I just know that boy, it was hot! And cycling back is always harder than cycling to, so it took me nearly 45 minutes to get back. When I reached my dorm, I came down with heat exhaustion, which is not as serious as heat stroke, but if not treated properly, WILL turn into a heat stroke. I was sweating and freezing at the same time, and can barely stand straight. Yikes! Luckily for us, the dormitory has a pair of husband and wife staying with us, we call them okaasan (mother) and otoosan (father). Through the extension phone in my room, I dialed the Okaasan and told her of my condition, and she came running with a few packets of ice packs to cool down my body temperature before it gets even higher. Felt better after about 30 minutes or so... Phew! I never overheated in the Malaysian heat...goodness knows why I overheated in Japan!

Take care everybody...

A day trip to Yokohama

Sunday June 12th I went to Yokohama with Yue Min and Tomoko for a visit to my guarantor. Guarantor is a person who is either Japanese, or foreigners residing in Japan, that acts as your representative between you and the university. Most of the universities in Japan requires you to have a guarantor in order to apply. And not many are willing to be guarantors for it is rather troublesome too. I am lucky that under some senior's help, I manage to get a guarantor. His wife came to Narita to pick me up on the day of my arrival, driving nearly 2 hours all the way from Yokohama, and another 4 hours to Hachioji. My guarantor, Mr Ozaki, however, was busy that day so he wasn't able to come. So this time, I travel to Yokohama to pay this family whom I am greatly indebted to for being in Japan, a visit.

We took the Yokohama Line direct from JR Hachioji station straight to Shin-Yokohama. Once we arrived, we went around looking for my guarantor, and one young man with a girl came and approached us. Appears that he is Mr Ozaki, and the girl is his eldest daughter. I was kinda surprised really...I expected somebody older actually haha, he looks like he is in his thirties.

So we got into his car, where his wife and two daughters are around too, and went to Kanagawa Kaikan. We also visited the Toda Peace Memorial Hall and later the park right opposite it, which is next to the Yokohama Harbour. It is a hot day really. But it was fun. I saw lots of dogs around, wearing t-shirts and even sunglasses! Japanese really love their dogs. Later when we walked further there was a man doing a street performance. He was funny, and skillful in juggling fire. We are really entertained hehe..

Time for lunch...for that, we head to the Yokohama Chinatown, which is off walking distance. We had Chinese food there, a type of buffet style where we need to pay a certain amount of money per person, and then you just order from the menu whatever you want. Of course, Mr Ozaki was the one who picked up the tab. Free chinese feast...I miss Chinese food. So I ate quite a lot. I also took the opportunity to eat grape fruits which is unavailable in Malaysia (and fruits are very expensive in Japan) and also had come ice-cream. Oohh...it was a really filling lunch.

Later we head back to Mr Ozaki's home to rest a while, as he himself had a speech to do somewhere. By the way, he is a Komei-to politician. So me, my friends, his wife and his daughters walked to the nearby shopping centre and do some grocery shopping and desert (cake) shopping. Then we head home and prepare some homemade temaki sushi, which is really really nice. First a filling lunch, now a filling dinner. I think I eaten enough for a week!

By the time I am back in my dorm, it was nearly 10pm. I got a headache after that, but it was worth the day...so had an early night sleep. It was a great fun day...

Visit to Soka Elementary School

Last Friday the whole Bekka made a visit to Tokyo Soka Elementary School. It was a really fun but tiring day. We were all (35 Bekka students) separated into 6 different groups to interact with Year 4 and Year 5 students. We depart from Soka University at about 945am.

The day before the trip I was hunting around the web for available scholarships for next year's Masters course. Many of the things I read on the web is disappointing, with not much choices, and usually the scholarship system in Japan does not cover your tuition fee, but only give you a certain amount to spend per month. Which is really weird really, because I find that the main financial problem does not come from monthly expenses, which I can easily earn by working; but the real problem comes from forking out a huge sum of money for the tuition fees and dormitory fees, which could range around RM50k. It was an upsetting search online. And my friends are telling me, hey, you need some chocolates to cheer you up...

So happens that I receive news that Sensei has given us Bekka students a gift commemorating our visit to Soka Elementary School. Lo and behold...it is a bar of chocolates! Swiss chocolates! I was so touched when I found it. Somehow I felt that Sensei understood how I feel and how we, the international students, struggle here in a foreign country.

We arrive at the Soka school at about 11am, have a brief video introduction, some speeches, and off we go to the classes, accompanied by the students. Cute students! Before that, I have to add that we were welcomed into the school compound by Year 1 students, forming two lines and shouting and bowing, 'Ohayou Gozaimasu' or 'Konnichiwa'. They are so so adorable.

Me and my group members were placed into a Year 5 class. In the beginning they sang us the Japanese version of Michael Jackson's We Are The World. Then each of us introduced ourselves. And then we were split into groups...about 6 kids each person. The kids introduced themselves to me, and then started to ask questions...like how is Malaysia?...What do you like to eat?...What is your hobby?...They look genuinely interested, and it is so nice to see their friendly smile.

After that small round of introduction, the kids are in charge of taking me sight-seeing around the school compound. We went to the library, which is really comfortable, the dining hall, one of the exhibition hall (Ikeda Hall) and to the basketball court where they usually play. We ended up playing two games together. One is like the 'kejar-kejar' in Malaysia, the other one is like 'AEIOU' in Malaysia. Phew...I had never ran so much before in my life before this. The kids are so energetic.

Our short time together have to end. After the game they led me back into the room we first arrived and told me that my lunch will be served here, and theirs will be at the dining hall. So we said a short farewell...and I am surprised they actually made an effort to find for simple words in Bahasa Malaysia so that they can greet me in the language itself. I can truly see how proud they are of their school and how excited they are to meet us all.

Lunch was simple...their school lunch...nutritious and very filling indeed. The kids are having their break time and kept hovering around the doorway or the window to sneak a peek at us. We spend some time communicating with them, and I remember at one time this girl asked me from which country do I come from, when I said Malaysia she went like 'Huh?' Then she took me by the hand and dragged me all the way out to a globe positioned in the lobby. Smart indeed. So I pointed out to her where is Japan, and where is Malaysia. Then after a short photo session, we left and went back to the university. All in all we only spend about two hours in the school. Short, but really really memorable indeed...

My first month in Japan has passed

Time really do flies. My first month in Japan has passed. I arrived on a significant day of May 3rd. Suppose to arrive on May 2nd, but well, coincidence maybe? Or fate...I arrive on May 3rd instead hahahah.

Studies are getting tougher day by day as we raced to master the language in a short one year. Expenses are also raising. Especially now that I have a phone. Monthly nearly RM100. Don't know what phone so damn expensive, so I am forced to cut down other type of expenses like food and daily uses. My classmates are all looking forward to eat at a syabu-syabu shop recommended by my teacher, which is cheap in terms of Japanese yen, but very expensive when I convert it to Malaysian RM...about nearly RM100. Aiyo...I eat steamboat at Malaysia also 3 times cheaper than that la. Even buffet cost in hotels or fancy restaurants cost less than RM100. So I decided not to go. I cannot afford RM100 for one single damn meal. That amount of money can support me for at least a week or more.

Next week I am heading to Yokohama (expenses again) to visit my guarantor. Without him and his family I would never even be in Japan. So this visit is definitely necessary. Too bad I don't have any money to buy something for the visit...it is Japanese custom to buy some stuff when you visit a Japanese person's house. But I think they understand foreign students like me have a hard time with money...so they won't expect much I think. I hope the weather will be good, as now is the raining season...and that I will enjoy my time there with some of my friends who will come along with me.

I miss my music...and Malaysian food definitely...even fast food like McDonald's haha. Next time come back must eat!!!

Two weeks into the start of the semester

It's been two weeks since the study started. Things are getting tougher and tougher. The speed of the Japanese study is also very very fast. I wish I could get myself an electronic dictionary but I simply cannot afford one now, which cost nearly RM1000 @.@. So internet has now became my dictionary whenever I need it.

Just bought a phone for use in Japan. It is kinda expensive really, and I am planning to cut down my budget to accommodate the phone fees incurred. Ahdoi...it's really a pain. But at times when earthquakes are quite frequent in Japan, having a phone is safer. So...no choice lo. Save in my meals lo. I already lost 4kg in two weeks. Damn good punya slimming program. Eat lesser and walk everyday uphill to class =="

Tomorrow I will have a dinner with my friend's father, who is teaching in Soka University, and whom I stayed with during my trip to Japan last year. My friend will not be around though, as she is in Okinawa, so it means I will be having dinner with only her parents. Hmm, that's gona be weird. But it doesn't matter...its good to show him my appreciation for all they have done. So...free sushi for dinner tomorrow!!!

Don't ask me how Japanese food taste like. Besides the few things that I got to eat free, I never buy food at all. I just buy raw things to cook, usually only whatever that's necessary. So I never eat in any restaurants or whatever...I had no inkling of how their food is like. No money le...gota save save save...

Hopefully my future days ahead will be better hahaha.

I'm finally in Japan!

I am finally in Hachioji, Japan!!!!

It's been a long long journey. Six and a half hours by plane, and another four and a half hours by car. Actually the car trip shouldn't have taken so long...but it was Golden Week holiday in Japan, so there was a 75km long jam along Chuo Expressway. Aiyoyo...

Anyway, let's talk about my room. It is a small cosy room with a bed, wardrobe, desk, some shelf, and a balcony to dry your clothes. Foreign female students in Soka University all stay in single room, therefore I have no roommate! I also have my own space in the kitchen cabinet and my own shelf in the refrigerator. Some Malaysian seniors had kindly gathered some 2nd hand stuff for me, like bed sheets, blanket, pot, frying pan, plates, spoon and fork, clock, hangers, thumb tacks (the wall of the room can use thumb tacks to pin stuff), laundry softener and some clothes. Love them really! I need not buy so many things and really saved a lot of money.

Once I arrived in the dormitory, I went through all the things and noted down what to buy, then head out to the city to buy whatever I need. Luckily, my guarantor's wife offered to drive me and some dorm mates there...it is kinda far to walk, and too expensive to use the bus. I bought a bunch of stuff like toiletries and some food. I did not plan to eat out at all in order to save money. The dormitory mates are all very nice. And I hope things will stay that way throughout the year (you know, people change)

It is orientation week now. So been to and fro the university for a few days to get my student ID and fix the internet. One thing surprises me really, when I was in one of the university building, somebody just called out to me and say, "Mareshia no Lim Mei Kei-san desu ka?" (Are you Miss Lim Mei Kei from Malaysia?). I was really wondering how she knew my name. Later I learned that she is one of the staff at the international centre (taking care of foreign students) and the staff members there all memorised each student's face and name. Amazing!

Going to have a test for Japanese placement tomorrow. Have to study now. Keep posted!!

Last band practice....

Today April 28th is my final band practice before I leave Malaysia. Feel a bit 'mm seh dak'. Been here for 6 years plus as an active member. I love my band, I love my instrument, I love my music. Going to miss it very much when I am in Japan, definitely.

I entered FeiYang Symphonic Band on 12 December 2004. It was my Lower Six STPM year. A real struggle. Band somehow gave me my life back. I found a passion besides throwing myself endlessly in just my studies. Music became my life. Not my hobby, mind you...but my passion. I hope when I am in Japan, I will be able to pursue my music and further it. I have something I wanted to learn for a long long time. I hope in Japan I will get the chance.

Talking about Japan, there is a lot I wanted to do and need to do. Explains why I am very much looking forward to it really. Although I do feel sad to leave my country, family and great friends here, but a new life awaits and I have a lot of things I wanted to pursue. I need to get a scholarship next year for my Masters, before that need to get my supervisor Professor to accept me as a student and pass the exam to get into the Master program. Hopefully, doing Global Studies. And I am also eying another university, which is the United Nations University located in Shibuya Tokyo. Hoping to get to study a course there, though I am not sure if my university will accept credits from this course. *cross finger*

A lot of people is asking me whether I will come back or not. Well...it is a difficult question to answer. If my Masters went well, I will take up 3 years in Japan, plus my one year language. In between will I be back for holidays? Well, my parents wanted me to come back for the new year, but I need to make sure I settle everything before I return, as that period of time is the time when I need to settle my applications, payments, visa and such. Most probably will return for short holidays during CNY, and after 3 years...err...depends on what I wanted to do by then. I think those who went overseas to study before will understand my feeling...it is not easy to tell now. Although now I would like to say I will return and do my PhD locally, but I do have some other things which if I wanted to do, Malaysia doesn't offer such opportunity. So, hm, lets leave this question after 3 years ok?

I wonder how will be Band be (back to the topic) without me, and how I will be without the band....

It's been a long time

It's been a long time since I updated my blog page. I think in the coming months it will be updated more about my experiences in Japan =)

Will be heading to Hachioji, Tokyo on May 2nd 11am. It is a Malaysia public hols...so my family and some friends can come send me off. Reaching Japan Narita at about 7.10pm. I half thought I am going to find my way to the dormitory alone at night as I have no idea which seniors will be in Japan by then, but lucky me, my guarantor Mr Ozaki and family, will come all the way from Yokohama, Japan to pick me up. If you guys want to know how is the distance like, it's like coming from Seremban (Yokohama) to Kuala Lumpur (Narita Airport) to pick me up, and then driving me to Ipoh (Hachioji)...and later...back to Yokohama. Really indebted to their kindness...else I will be lost in Tokyo at night.

Currently revising back my Japanese. I think my level is now at JLPT 4 (the old one...the new one has 5 levels). Although I have taken JLPT 3 and passed it, most of it has been returned to my Japanese Sensei. Geez...really need to study back as I hope I don't need to start from scratch in Japan. There will be a placement test to determine my level before the university classes start.

There will be plenty of challenges ahead now. I have no scholarship for my first year, and no idea if I will get any for my Masters...so it's really a wait-and-see year. Hopefully, my prayers will be answered and I will be able to fulfill my own dreams of doing peace-related researches.

Fell sick...got to go now...stay tuned!

Hello...

A long time abandoned blog. Hahaha. I guessed I am a more frequent user of Facebook notes. Find it easier to just...well, type and post hahaha.

Teaching tuition temporarily as I await fate to fall upon me in another say...a month and a half time. A bit worried really...I wanted to go, but it seems there will be plenty of problems coming along to stop me, or to trouble me if I did get the offer. Financial will be one of them, probably the biggest headache of all, and health, the other. Part of me says I am not too sure if my mental health can live up to being so far away from many of my sources of support...

But truly, I was glad to be given a chance to apply. Even to apply, there is a need of countless good fortune and shoten zenjin. If it wasn't for Ikeda Sensei establishing it nearly 40 years ago, if it wasn't for my seniors and comrades in Japan going around helping me out, if it wasn't for the guarantor who sent in all my forms and monies, when he never even met me before...I won't even have a chance to send in the application. Thank you all...

I know what I wanted and why I choose such a course which many would think weird or even unsuitable. Not surprising, as people now only think of courses, degrees and such only in terms of how much money they can generate and how high up the corporate ladder can they bring you. Too bad, I am not such a money person. Satisfaction matters more to me, a sense of purpose matters more to me, doing something that can contribute to world peace like what my Mentor is doing, is my dream too.

So...I will chase after it. I hope I will make it...

Harmony in diversity

Living in a world filled with miracles
With different faces, different thoughts
But we share a common bond
With courage in our hearts, and passion in our soul
We march on hand in hand to reach our final goal

One united voice, united vision
A marvelous chord, a clearer sight
It's a perfect creation
Let our glories be shared, let the borders disappear
With faith and wisdom in our lives, we have nothing to fear

We were bound by diversities
But we will sing in harmony
For dreams, for love, for peace, for humanity
Open up your heart and sing
Let our friendship spread its wings
Soaring the eternal skies of endless springs
We are unique in diversities
But we can sing in harmony
We help, we care, we share our loves in sincerity
Pray together in a rhythm
For happiness and freedom
Together we will make this a glorious world

Although there's high and low, although it's hard to learn
We plan our steps and set our goals to bridge two different worlds
Let the mountains made low
Let the valleys be sewed
We cry a single voice of peace in eternity it echoes

*Chorus

****************

Great song. But it always want to make me cry. It always reminded me of one specific event...6.15 celebration in 2008. It was the finale song...and during the final performance day of the 6.15 event, which was held in the open air basketball court in kaikan...it rained. I seen many members came early, sat in the basketball court with their umbrellas opened, and put their palms together and chanted for the rain to stop. But it didn't. Ended up all the music groups and choir groups did not perform that day due to the fact they cannot set up the mic system because of the rain...

I am a musician. I am a gakkai musician. I entered music group because I was deeply touched by their music when I was deep in depression. It saved my life. It gave me back a life to look forward to. And I look forward to every single performance because I treasure every chance I have to go on stage and play on behalf of sensei, encouraging every single person who is listening to us.

In my nearly 5 years of playing in band...there was probably one other time that I felt so upset besides the time when we were told we will not be performing....it was when I was struggling with my technique that has been badly wrong. My conductor and sister told me I cannot perform until I manage to fix my technique, because the mistake, if left unfixed, could be detrimental to the rest of my clarinet playing years. I was in the UM library when I had this MSN conversation with her. I nearly cried there and then...feeling so lost. My only mind was to perform for the people...now that I can't...what's the point of playing music? I gave up performing that concert, until my other conductor persuaded me to continue playing...but my heart is already broken and confidence gone... But a bigger resolve came in, and the next concert that our band organised that year, I improved so much, that I was given a solo part, and all my effort was answered because I finally hit my 3.0 CGPA that semester.

During the 6.15 that night, we were asked to put down our instruments in the canteen and prepare for the finale. I remembered how I hanged on to every hope that we will be asked to pick back up our instruments and continue with our performance. How I stood, unable to stop the tears of crying band members who were so upset because her family who are none members, manage to make it all the way to kaikan that night and yet, we weren't performing. How, when we were finally asked to walk from the canteen to the basketball court (without instruments) for the finale, my tears just dropped. Every single step I took nearer to the basketball court just hurts so much. The members who have been there the whole night are unable to hear us play. I wasn't crying for myself, I was crying for them. I was crying for the fact we are unable to fulfill our mission that night. Though I tried to tell myself that the finale will be our last performance and we must sing and dance our hearts out (for your info...I hated dancing), I still can't forget the fact that I cannot play my clarinet for them...Ouch....

The song still bring back the memories. I cannot finish singing it during the Reunion...partly because I was coughing so badly, partly was because I nearly wanted to cry....

Pre and Post Graduation

Undoubtedly...I am graduating soon. Just finished my first Introduction to Peace and Humanities paper yesterday. Will have a second one tomorrow...one more next week, and a final one the week after. Officially ending 4th May 2009. Convocation in middle August.

I have attended nearly 3 interviews I guessed...and have another 3 upcoming. Looking at the newspaper with the unemployment stories around...frankly speaking it is a worrying time. I don't know how well I would fare compared to other job-seekers...what's more...with my result of a 2nd Class. Not like I am the first class students...to make things worst, I am opting for a totally different job scope from what I am doing right now. I am looking into banking, training, sales, marketing... Practically anything that will allow me my second phase learning of economics and business. Many wonder why I don't continue with MBA since I was so damn sure I will do it one day. Well, MBA in local uni require working experience la...and MBA elsewhere can burn a hole in my pocket. Unlike some people, I have to pay for my own education.

It was a time of uncertainty. Lucking chanting gives me the confidence to push on and accept nothing less than what I think is best for me. This first job after graduating must do more than just supporting my life and allowing me the freedom for kosenrufu activities...it must fulfill another mission that I will place as utmost importance...but sounded quite impossible.

This is where I got stuck. I have something in mind that I would wish to see through in the near future. But it sounded so impossible...that I don't even know how am I suppose to start..or where to start. I just know I wanted it...but geez...how? Sometimes when people begin to question me, why did you want to do that? Frankly speaking I got so tired of answering it, I began to shut up about it and not mention it anymore until one day I ALREADY got it and confirm doing it. What a sad thing la..I wished I had somebody to support me in my decision and help me see through what sources I could find to reach my goal...but too bad...I can't get anybody who will not see it any other way. A silent struggle? Yeah...I guess so. Percentage of success? No idea. I guess that was why I was pretty worried.

It is a next phase for me. Working is a learning life too. I want somewhere where I can learn and be the best. And I am looking seriously into the issue of graduate studies. Very seriously

How well educated am I?

Education. What on earth is it anyway? Newspapers are bursting with news of graduates with low quality, no English command and whatsoever nonsense. Even my course lecturers are lamenting the quality of our graduates now. We may be well equipped with the knowledge in our specific major...seems like...we are getting more and more selfish. No la...selfish is too harsh a word...ignorant I think sounds better.

Today, in my course of Introduction to Peace and Humanities, there is a talk by Mr Anis who had once worked with the United Nations for quite some number of years. He came to talk to us about UN of course, and its role in peacekeeping. But half his lecture succeeded in revealing how darn ignorant can these so-called "educated" people can be. How these people, in the course of their own comfort zone in the now peaceful Malaysia, never really bothered about that happen to other people, other countries...and painfully narrow minded when it comes to general knowledge all these educated people should have known. I was probably one among the many in class that were ignorant to an extend.

He started off the talk with a few questions. The few...which lucky me..manage to answer all correct. Some were really my knowledge...some were a guess out of common sense. Here we go:

1. How many countries are there in the United Nations?
A) 200 B) 185 C) 192 D) 195
This question I definitely know the answer...partly was because hey, I love to read. Partly was because I heard this over and over again in gakkai...which mentioned that SGI has also 192 countries and territories in its membership.
He mentioned something very strict...many in class just give it a wild guess. Wild guessing is just like cheating...you do not know the answer and you just sapu one and hopefully you got it correct. Where in the world is your integrity? Nearly sweated when he said that. Can only say that, I was glad I know the answer as in..KNOW...not guess.

2. Who is the UN Secretary General
A) Kofi Adnan
B) Boutros Boutros Ghali
C) Ban Ki Moon
D) Barrack Obama
Well...I should say if anybody who call themselves students or educated and had no idea about the answer to this question should be seriously ashamed of themselves. Except for Obama, the rest of it are all Sec-Gen...just that Ban Ki Moon is the current one.

3. When is the UN formed?
A) 1914 B) 1946 C) 1945
Well...it is formed after WWII...1945

4. How many countries are there in Africa?
Too lazy to type his multiple choice. Generally I was half guessing this question as well. I heard of it before somewhere in my secondary school...But as he went on with his multiple choice, I and another student in class (only two people), chose the correct answer. But frankly speaking, even if you hunt online...it gives many differing answers anyway.
Why do majority of the class know nothing about the Africa continent? When he asked around for their first impression of Africa...nearly all are negative. No wonder... We already have a bad mindset.

5. How big is the population in Iraq?
Hm...I surprisingly got this right. His choices differ from 100 million to 17 million. Many who thought they are very well equipped with people because of so many wars, chose 100 million. I chose 17 million...because I thought many lives are probably wasted anyway... Actually, it is probably less than 17 million...

His talks are mainly to empower us to study hard, graduate well and contribute to the society.. Especially with the thought of working in United Nations. Hmm...nice point to ponder. But he also mention some 'disabilities' of students that can prevent this from happening...inability to communicate well in English, not outspoken, ignorant of the most basic questions like...how many countries are there in the world? Aiya...I don't even know...

How well educated am I huh?

Chinese New Year...

Just finished my 10am-12pm class. Now waiting for my 5pm class. Geez, what a way to arrange time table. But doesn't matter. The internet at the Chemistry Department is 10 times faster than the internet at my own home....can online...



I have just looked at my transcript. Felt terrible that I did not score better. There are a few expected results, but there are also a few unexpected ones. Now I am already in my final semester. What should I do to ensure a nice full transcript??



This semester is quite free and easy. I have full classes on Tuesday and Thursday, and one hour class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I have lab though...so for the first 7 weeks, my Wednesday will extend to 5pm, and for the next 7 weeks, it will be Monday instead. I took a Chinese Painting co-curricular course, and I took an elective too. It is called Introduction to Peace and Humanities, taught by Dr Wendy Yee. The lecturer is a personal friend, but it is the first time I have seen her teach.



It was fun...hahaha. Very different from other classes...where the exam of this course is only 20%!! Where is the other 80%? It comes from attendance to classes, participation, individual assignments, group assignments, final project, and working voluntarily with an NGO (I am already in an NGO anyway...). It was just the second class today, and I have handed in an assignment and already planning a group assignment. I read a whole book about Gandhi, because we were required to write about his non-violence practice. Owed really, because I probably won't even bother to read that thick and old book (written a year after Gandhi's death) if it is not because of that assignment. I found I don't really know as much about him as I thought I did. His ideals are superb, but those who practicised it are even more superb. In this society that is so used to violence, some might even thought him stupid. But I find him fascinating...

Gandhi introduced satyagraha which is a name he placed for his passive resistance movement. The reasons why he did not use the word passive resistance is because he found some major difrerences between those two. Here I would like to share a few with you guys...

-If we continue to believe (and let others believe) that we are weak and therefore offer passive resistance, our resistance will never make us strong, and we will instead give it up as a weapon of the weak. However, by offering satyagraha believing ourselves to be strong, we will grow stronger everyday and we will never cast an opportunity to give it up.

-There is no scope of love in passive resistance, but in satyagraha, there is no presence of hatred

-In passive resistance there is a scope for the use of arms if needed, but in satyagraha physical force is forbidden even in the most favourable circumstances

-In passive resistance there is always an idea of harrasing the other party, but in satyagraha there is no remotest idea of injuring the opponent.

The above points are only some explanation of the 'weapon' Gandhi used to fight for Indian rights in South Africa, before he returned in India. He has won many battles there, and gain the trust of the whites and blacks alike, for he hated their policy, not the persons. Even the white government of Africa had mentioned to him that they rather he took to violence, because by then they would know how to get rid of him. But his practice of not even hurting his enemies has in turn make the government helpless and give in. What a way to win.

Tomorrow is final day of uni before our CNY break. Geez, finally, a holiday. Want to have some serious rest, sleep, and dialogues. Of course, have to settle some homeworks and stuff. But I think I should enjoy this year long CNY holiday compared to the shorter ones we have in the past 3 years in UM...

Hehehe...till we meet again

The Golden Year of 2009!!!

Last Saturday I just kicked off a Band event called the Album Campaign. I know the name is a bit lame...but well...more precise mah. After all, I am not a very creative fella. This campaign will include a session where all band members write their resolutions for 2009, doing a quarterly review about their resolutions, collecting their dialogues done and also finally, writing a victory report at the end of 2009. Year of Youth and Victory, the whole band will report their victory to Sensei next year...

I haven't write my resolution...in fact, I am still thinking about it. I have a few in my mind of course, but still thinking of what to write officially. Nowadays pretty busy organising the recital competition in band that will start off in January and February. Actually, we are very tight for time and I am pretty worried about the results that will be out in terms of the benefits that the band member will gain. Doesn't seem to be very bright because of the time constraint.

I foresee a very busy 2009. Marching towards 2010 Charity Culture Show, I have many things I want to achieve. I think the first and foremost would be a successful recital haha. That's the nearest I can find... What about the rest? Lets list:

1. Pass with distinction for my ABRSM Clarinet Grade 7 (paid RM400 for it leh..)
2. Graduate with a CGPA above 3.20. (My Chemistry results are quite horrible)
3. Complete my minor and major scales and focus more on etudes...
Practice more...after class nothing to do, go back home practice! Holiday, practice 4 hours.
4. Have a great performance in April for Music Appreciation (I hope we are playing Phantom of the Opera...damn nice!) and Music Fest in June!
5. Do a lot of dialogue within band, Student Division and main stream. Talk more to my junior..
6. Human revolution...geez...this will take another page to write man!
7. Read read and read...Must do Human Revolution reading everynight.Strive to read Cosmic and Flow every month.
8. Chant more...hahah...

What else huh? Probably have some more...maybe I will give myself time to think about it on the 31st Dec of 2008, then write down my resolutions...

2008 1st Sem Finals...

Here we go...final year in UM (hopefully...I seriously do not want to extend my semester). If everything is fine...I will be graduating next year as BSc Applied Chemistry. Wonder how many chemicals have I took into my body for the past three years?? Enough to shorten my life by a few years I think...

Today is last day of class. Next week is study break...but I still have to do my lab report. Worst off, the report got problems. The results I get from NMR is totally incomprehensible, my GPC is like...two samples missing. I am so dead. But more than that, I am so fed up. I would rather focus on my finals rather than my report. Frankly speaking, I am not going to pay attention to it more than my revisions because I am planning to hit a certain CGPA this time. Whatever else is secondary.

Nowadays took whatever time I have free...to practice my clarinet. We have lotsa new songs... Four more of Teresa Teng medley, Phantom of the Opera, Sound of Music (again!), later will have Les Miserables, West Side Story, Mary Poppins...all kinds of musicals!!! Very excited!!! I love music and the power within it to give hope and courage to people. I am back to square one... always face technical problems every time. Last time it's embouchure wrong, then tonguing not correct...now I can't play my high notes. Hmm..my solo piece is going to go down the drain if I can't fix this matter by end of this year...

After this year's September concert, I have said that I will fight on with my life. In studies, in kosenrufu, in my own human revolution, in music. Obstacles are everywhere, things are not easy. But I know the final victory is awaiting. I always win in concerts...every single concerts I performed in is very very precious...because I truly challenged. Now should be no difference.

Last few years, the SGM Young Women Division Day has the wild flowers as their theme. This guidance from Ikeda Sensei seem to fit it well...

"Why doesn't constant trampling defeat the dandelion?? The key to its strength is its long and sturdy root, which extends deep into the earth. The same principle applies to people. True victors in life are those who, enduring repeated challenges and setbacks, have sent the roots of their being to such a depth that nothing can shake them!!"

I Perform to Inspire!!

20th September...SGM FeiYang Symphonic Band Concert!!! Another chance for another inspiring performance...inspiring challenges.

Too bad I fell sick two weeks before the concert. With all the mid-sem tests coming together, sleeplessness, practices and what's not...A few people told me that I shrunk after the concert. Wonder if that is a good or bad thing...I always think I am too fat anyway...

It was the one concert where we made the most mistakes ever...Symphony No.5 enter wrong lar, miss cue in Rosalind lar, late entry in Goodbye My Love lar... Cold sweat on stage man! But making mistakes in one thing, continuing playing is another thing. My mission on stage is to impart hope and courage to people...and it needs courage to make mistakes, and even more courage to admit and correct them. I was kinda happy at the concert hahaha. Not because I don't care about the fact we made mistakes...I do...I felt we need more practice. Good thing now we are back to basics...I must go back to my minor scales too, and continue chanting for my teacher to appear. After all, they say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I am pretty sure I will get mine...so now, I am preparing for him...whoever he is.

This concert is successful in my personal opinion because I have truly struggled through it. Our art only advances as much as our life did. That is what Herbie Hancock shared. I look forward to every big and small performances because I have the chance to do what my mission as Bodhisattva Wonderful Sound commands. So this time, I decide to fight. True enough, there are plenty of challenges. I don't have enough stamina for all the 10 songs, I was unwell through the month, I was sleepless for weeks, I have tests, assignments, and need to forgo many of my entertainments to take time to practice. Nearly depressed. And most of all, I am inviting people...my coursemates, and my Japanese teacher, Mukoda-sensei.

I think the inviting part is the toughest. I am being well known for my serious looks and strict character...but I was never known for being a socialising person. Except for a close few, whom, even they said I wasn't much of a talker sometimes, I rarely talk to many of my coursemates. Inviting them is my wish...since it is our final year and there may not be another chance for them to attend my performance and feel the magic. So I just have to buck up and start talking. My Japanese is horrible, my language sensei's English is horrendous. Duck and chicken. How to invite? Besides, he doesn't have a very good impression of Soka Gakkai back in Japan, and I want to show him the truth of gakkai and not the nonsensical things he may have heard. He nearly rejected me because he has to teach Karate. You have imagine how happy I was when I saw him waving at me during the intermission...and he brought a Japanese friend along too!! And around 15 of my coursemates came. Subarashii!!!

Comrades are great...just at the time when you need them...they would just pop by! Two weeks of sleeplessness and busying with my studies had a bad effect on my emotional health haha. I thought I nearly broke down one weekend... It just happen that on one night after practice when I have been nearly ill, I send a message to a great friend in Aussie. Usually she was so busy, she never replies. I do not expect her to anyway...I just need a listening ear. My huge surprise came when she called me around two hour before the concert... Practically crying when she said she called just to ask me how I was coping and how's my health. Hahah...love ya dear. Would never forget them for many many concerts to come!!! I was so touched, that I felt all my troubles and challenges has prepared me for the right mindset to perform...to play for the audiences, play for my friends, play for my teacher. Play for them in place of my mentor...play my heart out!!

That's one hell of a concert...just created a special place in my value-creating life. Keke...

Mata kondo!

My blog page!!

I used to have one in Multiply...in Friendster...now I place it here... Who cares where I put it. I doubt if I would have much time updating it anyway...

But I hope whatever I blogged...is not just daily nonsense...but a chance to let people see the way I view my own life...I love my life...Won't trade it for any others...

Angels of Peace...You Bearers of Culture....